An interview with myself #2
How old
were you when you wrote your first story?
Ten.
Ten.
There was a
teacher at the school I attended who made all the pupils in his class write a
story every week. The kids who wrote the best stories got to read theirs out to
the class.
There were only
two kids who ever got to do that – me and my best friend Martin.
How many books have you written?
I’ve written
eight books, three of which have so far been published. These are:
Celebrity Chef
Zombie Apocalypse, released by
KGHH Publishing in May 2016;
ZOMCATS! published in October 2016, again by KGHH
publishing. It’s about a plague of zombie cats, all running riot leaving blood,
death and mayhem in their wake; and
Confessions of
an English Psychopath, which was
self-published in December 2016.
I wrote my
first novel when I was seventeen. It was a collaborative effort with a good
friend of mine (Martin, mentioned above). He and I wanted to be writers. We had
a lot of fun writing it, but we never tried to get it published. Perhaps that’s
just as well; there were some good ideas in it, and some decent writing (mainly
that of my friend!) but I doubt that either of us would want to see it in print
today.
I wrote my
second novel in 2010. It was called ‘The Mountains of Frankovia,’ and it was awful. Then I wrote another novel, and another, and I began to improve.
The moral of
this story is that the best way to learn your craft as a novelist is to write
lots of novels. Don’t worry, the effort won’t be wasted; you can always go back
to your unpublished novels at a later date when your skills have
improved, work on them, and make them publishable. That’s what I’m planning to
do with mine. (Except for ‘The Mountains of Frankovia’ – it’s so bad that it’s
beyond salvation).
Anything you won't write about?
No, not really.
I’m prepared to
write about anything at all provided that I set my moral compass first.
So if I were to
write about, say, torture, I’d make it pretty clear where I stand on that – but
at the same time, I’d try not to be obtrusive about putting my value system on
it. There are few things that ruin a novel more quickly than an author who
conspicuously brandishes his moral code at you!
Can I give you
an example of how far I’m prepared to go in writing about anything?
I wrote a scene
involving a prostitute and drug dealer in one of my novels, in the first
person, from the point of view of the prostitute.
I didn’t shy
away from some very graphic detail. I’ll read the scene for you, so you can
appreciate what I mean.
*Fumbles with a
pile of manuscripts and picks one out.*
Before I begin,
I should explain that this is nothing like my published work. My published
novels are funny – some people have described them as “laugh out loud funny”
- but this piece of writing is anything but funny. It’s from a novel
called Keeping Me – which hasn’t yet been published.
Here goes:
-----oo0oo-----
“I stood in
front of the wardrobe and took off my clothes and took a long hard look at
myself in the mirror while I was naked. I looked myself full in the eye, and
then I looked my body up and down very carefully.
It was a long
time since I’d looked at myself – I mean, really looked at
myself – and I didn’t like what I saw.
You know how
every second person you meet these days is overweight? Well, I’d been bucking
that trend for years. While everybody else had been eating junk food and
getting fat, I’d been eating junk food and getting thin. Skeletal. Even though
I was still on my Heroin high, I could see that my arms and legs were little
more than sticks, and I was pretty sure that I didn’t smell too good, although
you can’t check that in a mirror.
My skin was the
color of coffee made with milk, but lately it looked as if the milk had
curdled. My eyes were dark holes set in the skull that my head had somehow
become. I looked as if I was going to Hell, fast, in a handcart.
I remembered my
pledge to myself to get straight and I wondered if I had the strength to carry
it through. What time was it? Was it morning, noon or night? Was the clinic
open yet? Should I forget about going straight for now, and go out and earn
some money to pay Ratboy and go to the clinic some other day? (It was always
some other day).
My thoughts
were interrupted by a knock at my door which made me jump. I didn’t answer.
Another loud knock. Then a voice came from behind the door.
“Ali, are you
in?”
It was Ratboy.
“Ali?”
I kept quiet,
but that didn’t help me, because the door opened. Ratboy just pushed it open.
Fool that I was, I hadn’t locked it after he’d left the other day. Not that
locking it would have done much good. The door frame was rotten and even I
could have broken in if I’d wanted to. Anyway, he marched right in and got to
see me naked.
You know how
disgusting it feels when some random guy looks at you and undresses you with
his eyes? Well, that’s the feeling I got when Ratboy looked at me, even though
he didn’t have to undress me with his eyes or in any other way, because I
wasn’t wearing so much as a stitch. Those verminous eyes of his flickered with
excitement as he cast his lecherous gaze all over me. I tried to cover up my
tits and my pubes with my hands so he couldn’t stare at them, but I didn’t feel
like I was making a particularly good job of it.
It might sound
weird that a woman who fucked for a living was concerned about her modesty, but
I’ve only ever given men access to my body on my terms, at
least when I could help it. I didn’t like the idea of Ratboy or any other man
seeing me butt naked without my express permission.
“That’s quite a
welcome you’ve arranged for me Baby,” he said. “I always knew that deep down you
really liked me, no matter what you said. You were just playing hard to get,
weren’t you?”
I backed away
and reached behind me for some clothes or anything at all to cover my
nakedness. My hand found a sheet and I pulled it from the bed and wrapped it around
my body. It smelled of piss and cum and there was a dark stain in the middle of
it, but I didn’t feel I could afford to be choosy about what I wore right then.
“No need to
dress up for me,” said Ratboy. “I liked you just the way you were.”
He came towards
me with a look in his eye that I didn’t much care for. I’ve seen that look in
men’s eyes many times. I know what it means. It was obvious that he had a hard
on and he had plans for what he was going to do with it.
He had a sick
grin on that ugly face of his and his whiskers were twitching with excitement.
“You keep the
fuck away from me Ratboy,” I said.
He stopped.
“Whatever you
say, Baby, as long as you pay me for that little present I gave you the other
day. I know you’ve been using it. I can see by your eyes that you’ve had a few
smokes recently.”
“I’ll pay you
later. I don’t have the money right now,” I said.
He shook his
head.
“That wasn’t
the deal, Baby,” he replied. “The deal was that if you couldn’t pay me in cash,
you’d pay me some other way. Remember?”
I remembered
all right.
“I never agreed
to that. You said that was the deal. But I didn’t agree to make that deal with
you,” I told him.
It was the
truth, but I knew he wouldn’t see it that way.
“No. But you
used my gear and you don’t have any money and now you have to pay me and I’m
not prepared to wait.”
He came towards
me and that sick smile of his got sicker and sicker and more twisted than ever.
Just then I saw the carving knife lying on the floor right where I’d dropped it
when he’d last visited, so I let go of the sheet I’d wrapped myself in, and I
ran over and crouched down and grabbed the handle of the knife, but before I
could pick it up Ratboy stepped on the blade. Try as I might, I couldn’t get it
out from under his foot.
“You’re playing
hard to get again, Baby,” he said. Then he bent down and grabbed my hair and
dragged me over to the bed and flung me on it.
“It’s Show
Time,” he said, pulling his belt out of his pants, “and you might as well enjoy
it because it’s going to happen, no matter what.”
I writhed to
one side to get off the bed but he used the belt like a whip and he brought the
buckle end of the belt down next to my head to stop me. It slammed like a
bullet onto the area of mattress I was about to roll onto, right in front of my
nose.
“Try that again
you little bitch and I’ll bring that belt buckle down on your face,” he said.
“And if I do that to you, you’ll look so ugly that the most desperate John in
town won’t pay so much as a forged penny to fuck you.”
Even though I
was high I was scared, and I didn’t want that belt buckle hitting me anywhere
at all, least of all on my face.
While holding
his belt with one hand, Ratboy somehow managed to pull down his pants with the
other and then he sort of dived on top of me. He didn’t weigh much, because he
was a skinny little runt, but he was bigger and stronger than me and although I
tried to fight him off, I could tell I was fighting a losing battle.”
I’ll leave it
right there because I don’t want to give your readers any plot spoilers.
-----oo0oo-----
I’d
like to emphasize something here: please don’t buy any of my other novels
expecting them to be anything like this.
What they have
in common with this piece is that they’re dark. But they’re also funny, which makes them very different to the excerpt I’ve just given you.
Tell me about you. Age (if you don't mind answering), whether you’re
married, have kids, etc...
I love that
question – largely because it’s so easy to answer! – I had to think about the
answers to your previous questions.
I’m a youthful 61 year old.
I’m married, to
a gorgeous, pouting woman seven years my junior who looks like she’s about
twenty years younger than me. How she does that, I don’t know.
I have two
daughters, aged 27 and 31. They’re both very outspoken and nothing shocks them,
not even my books.
A few (very few) people have been outraged by Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse, because of the sex in it. There’s a scene which, well, let’s just say
it’s reminiscent of a scene in Deliverance. I asked my youngest
daughter (who has read the novel) if she found it outrageous, and she looked puzzled by the
question.
What's your favorite book you have written?
Probably
Manchester Vice.
It’s a noir
crime thriller due out in November 2017. It’ll be published by Coffin Hop Press
as part of their ‘Noirvellas’ line.
Although it’s
branded as a ‘Noirvella’, it’s of novel length being some 73,000 words long.
Who or what inspired you to
write?
Any number of
things.
I read Marvel
Comics when I was growing up and I spent a lot of time trying to write comic
strips with superheroes like the ones I’d read about.
In my teens I
got into science fiction and horror.
Looking back on
it, it was these influences which were mainly responsible for inspiring me to
write. I think it shows in the writing I do. (Not that there are any
superheroes in my books!)
What do you like to do for fun?
Oh, you know, maim and kill people, especially those I don’t like.
Apart from that, writing is fun.
But I also like
to exercise, go walking in hills and mountains, explore, meet new people, spend
time with my kids and with old friends, party, read, go shopping, enjoy a few sherbets (that’s a Brit
expression for drinking beer) and party.
And what
traditions do you have when you finish a book?
I put it to one
side for a couple of days then I read it through and try to improve it. I do
that at least another couple of times, and then I decide whether it’s good
enough to send off to an agent or publisher.
Lately I’ve
developed another tradition: I send it to a couple of friends of mine who are
kind enough to act as beta readers and give me feedback which helps me to
improve my work.
Where do you
write? Do you like peace and quiet or music?
I need peace
and quiet.
I write in a
spare bedroom which has a pleasing view overlooking a tree-lined valley. When
I’m not looking at a screen with words on it, I look out of the window and
watch the trees swaying gently in the summer breeze. (Or winter gale, if it’s
that time of year!)
Anything you would change about your writing?
I’d make it
better if I could!
Seriously, I’m
always looking to improve, but I find it hard to put my finger on any
particular thing I’d change.
I like to think
I’m an original writer who comes up with new ideas. I also have a love of words
and I like to think I use them in striking ways in my novels. Those two
characteristics of my style are both very important to me.
So maybe if I
could improve on those areas in particular, that would be something I’d aim
for.
What is your dream?
To be a famous writer?
Yes, of course
I’d very much like my books to sell in great numbers, and I’d like the name
Jack Strange to be globally recognized. I can dream, can’t I?
(If you’re
reading this, you know what you need to do to help me - it’ll only take a
couple of clicks of your mouse and a very small expense – and you just might
just enjoy it!)
Where do you live?
In a town in
the north of England called Huddersfield; the part of town I live in is known
as Birkby. It’s only a half-hour walk to the town centre from where I live, and
less than a ten minute walk to a great bar called the ‘Magic Rock,’ so it’s the
perfect place as far as I’m concerned.
Pets?
We used to have
a cat once. We were all heartbroken when she got ill and died. Me, my wife, and
both our daughters. I haven’t been able to bring myself to get another pet
since then. There are one or two pictures of our family cat on my Facebook
pages.
What's your favorite thing about writing?
Can I cheat,
and tell you my favorite two things?
Writing, in my
view, does something to the brain, a bit like meditation. It has a calming
effect. It’s a great feeling. You could call it ‘the joy of writing’!
Other than
that, I love the connection it can give you with other people. When someone on
the other side of the world says he (or she) has read my novel and liked it,
that’s amazingly gratifying.
Anything else you’d like me to include please feel free to tell me!
OK, here goes:
Kids, buy my novels - You know it makes sense!
You can get
them here:
BTW, see:
BTW, see:
Confessions of
an English Psychopath
Celebrity Chef
Zombie Apocalypse
ZOMCATS!
If you want to
try before you buy, take advantage of the free download of the opening chapters
from Amazon and see what you think. If you like it, buy the whole thing.
And please get
in touch.
You can send me
a message on Facebook
Or Twitter:
@jackstrange11
Or email me:
And feel free
to visit my website and read about me:
Reach out to
me!
Finally, please note: I use affiliate links to market my books in my blog. So I may make a few pence or cents extra on the deal if you buy a book (or anything else from Amazon) after using one of my links. I doubt I'll be able to retire on the proceeds though!
Finally, please note: I use affiliate links to market my books in my blog. So I may make a few pence or cents extra on the deal if you buy a book (or anything else from Amazon) after using one of my links. I doubt I'll be able to retire on the proceeds though!
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